Cedar Point

My mind is racing with ideas for this blog while I'm sitting up in my 8th floor office in the sky. I'm basically getting paid the big bucks to write these posts, so I'm going to enjoy it while I can. Expect an orgasm of creativity all over this blog in the near future.

To be honest, I'm a bit nervous about this particular post. It has a lot to live up to since my rollercoaster-loving friend (we'll call him Gerald) has been anxiously waiting for me to write it for the past three days. I just don't know if I'm up for the challenge. I know none of you care about my feelings though, so I'll move on.

I went out to the Sandusky area with a few of my close friends that I've known for years (for the sake of the story, we'll call them Julie, Cindy, and Zack). On Saturday, we spent the day at Cedar Point, America's Roller Coast. In an effort to satisfy Gerald, I am going to relive my thrilling CP experience through a top ten list.

Top Ten Good/Bad Events From This Past Saturday's Trip To Cedar Point

1. The Maverick
Being the only one in the group to have previously experienced the best roller coaster ever, I made sure everyone knew how incredible this ride truly was. "I don't know if this ride will live up to all this hype you're giving it Dan," they threw back in my face. I didn't waver. I had total confidence that each and every one of them would leave the ride with a new perspective on life. I continued to talk it up. Then, the unthinkable happened.

The ride broke.

Unbelievable. My best friends in the whole world were not going to enjoy the most electrifying ride in amusement park entertainment (WWF The Rock reference anyone?). We would have to come back later. And that is exactly what we did. Seeing as this was the second time we would have to wait in line, my confidence dropped a bit about their ride enjoyment. Could it possibly be worth waiting in line twice just to ride it once? I was scared, but I refused to show it. I talked it up even more, hoping for the best. So, was I right?

Of course I was. Stupid question.

2. Bird Poop
Yes, bird poop makes the top ten list. As I was exiting a ride, in slow motion, a giant gob of something landed on my head (picture it falling on my head really slow for an added effect). I touched the spot where it landed to see what it was and pulled out a handful of a strange, brown substance. I looked up to see the biggest bird in my life. This thing was probably twice the size of the average ostrich. To add insult to injury, it was after getting off the Corkscrew, a joke of a coaster. Unable to actually see what was in my hair, I grab a napkin and have Cindy get it out for me. Unfortunately (or fortunately), I'm much taller than Cindy, so I was on my knees as she played with my hair in front of the entire park.

I wiped my hair furiously for the next half hour after getting off the ride before we headed off to #3 on my list. To add even more insult to even more injury, I couldn't shower until I got home on Sunday. With that being said, you are welcome to judge all you want. I deserve it.

3. Top Thrill
Our group shrinks as Cindy chickens out. Some just can't handle the intensity. The rest of us know how to have fun. We walked past this ride about ten times throughout the day. We had a pretty roundabout way to get to everything. Every time it shoots off, we would stare in awe of it's incredible power (that's what she said). But now, it was time to ride (she also said that).

Surprisingly, the line was short. A sub 1 hour wait for a ride that is usually 2+.

It was my turn to get in. We get up to the light and wait for take-off. I am clutching the handle on my harness with all my life, knowing I will die in about 15 seconds.

We take off. Through the shrill, deafening screams of Julie I am able to hear the car race up to 120 mph. After collecting myself, I realize we are already 400+ feet in the air, about to come crashing back down to the earth. To my relief, we reach the end of the ride safely. I cry for a little bit before we move on.

4. Losing Feet on the Millenium Force
This was an interesting conversation we had while in line for the ride. Cindy was deathly afraid of riding; however, she was only allowed to opt out of one ride the entire day, and she chose Top Thrill. To calm her nerves a bit, Julie tried to assure her that everything will be fine, that no one has actually died from riding a roller coaster. I had some sad news for her.

I brought up the accident that occurred a couple years ago that involved a girl and losing her feet. I'll leave out the rest of the details. It must have been their lucky day however, because I completely forgot about the incident at Six Flags Over Georgia. If I would have brought that one up, we probably would not have rode the Millenium that day.

We get up to the front of the line, and it breaks. For some reason we couldn't get in a line without a ride breaking down. I was beginning to get a little anxious with all the talk about losing feet after the ride broke though. To make things even better, we were the first ones to ride the broken train. Sweet.

Long story short, everything was fine and we enjoyed the ride.

5. Panda Express
Dinner time. We finish our adventure on the Millenium and head over to the nearby Panda Express. Nothing unusual about the food, but the cups only came in one size: bucket. These cups were roughly three times the size of my head and also three times more expensive than anyone would pay to hang out with me for a day. I was able to finish about 1/4th of it before having to throw it away. I didn't realize they only had Panda-sized softdrinks at Panda Express.

I changed my mind. A list to ten would be way too long. Five is a good stopping point.

Next stop: King's Island
Next stop after that: Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey

Let me know if you want to go.