Becoming Famous the Easy Way

I've been on a bit of a Justin Timberlake kick lately. Not just his music (especially when he was with N'Sync, OMG), but also his laid back celebrity personality. There's something about his random appearances on Saturday Night Live skits that makes me admire him. As I sit here and write this post while JT is bringing sexy back on my iPod, I can't help but think that he's the type of celebrity I would want to be like if (make that when) I become famous.

But the underlying question is, how do I become that famous? Looking back at JT's career, it actually looks relatively straightfoward: Join the Mickey Mouse Club, be the lead singer of a boy band, bang a famous singer, leave the boy band and do it all yourself instead, bang more famous people, do a couple acting side jobs, and appear on just about every episode of SNL. Easy. I already love Disney World so I'm off to a good start.

Unfortunately, I can't sing for the life of me and people make sure I know about it. Since no one wants to hear me sing, that impedes my ability to join a boy band, which in turn makes it much more difficult to bang a famous singer (although I'm not going to rule it out). Seeing as I'm a talentless accountant from the Midwest also really sets me back a bit. Getting famous the JT way is probably out of the question.

But then I thought, who is the most famous person ever? Only one name came to mind: David Hasselhoff. He doesn't sing, hardly acts, and yet, people can't get enough of him. Becoming famous the Hasselhoff way is soooo much simpler too: Get a car that can talk, become a lifeguard, then pretend to be a judge on a sub-par talent competition. It's so easy, I can't believe I didn't think about it before!

Fame and fortune, here I come!