The Next Big Diet

I am a genius. During my life I will come up with a million different ways to make $1 million. This is one of those ideas.

Obviously, dieting books are an easy way to make big bucks. Overweight people are always looking for an easy solution to losing weight that requires the least amount of effort possible. Well folks, I have found the answer. It was not really hard to find, in fact, I have known about it for years. Why no one has written a book about this diet earlier is beyond me. Here is how my book will look:

Ok, so it will hopefully look better than that. I think you can understand the concept of the book, so instead of telling you what it is about, I will share the first few pages with you. It may just change your life.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Where to Begin

Chapter 2: Getting Rid of Temptations: the Fridge and Pantry

Chapter 3: Throwing Away All the Oreo's You Have Been Hiding from Your Husband/Wife

Chapter 4: Stop Feeding the Rest of the Family

Chapter 5: Stay Productive While Not Eating

Chapter 6: The Brick Wall, How to Fight Through Starvation

Chapter 7: Learn How to Avoid Eating Other People When the Urge is so Great

Chapter 8: Not Dying

Chapter One: Where to Begin

Congratulations! By purchasing this book, you are on your way to a newer, slimmer you. As with all diets, there is a great deal of sacrifice involved, and this one is no different. You will find however, that this diet actually works!

There is a simple concept to dieting: lower the amount of food intake, and with the help of a little exercise, you will be in much better shape.

Bologna! (Which, by the way, you should not eat). Who has time to exercise? Not me, that is for sure. With such amazing programming on television these days, physical activity is just out of the question. "But Dan," you may ask, "how am I supposed to make myself look as good as possible without exercise?"

You fool! Did you not read the title of the book? I'm just kidding, of course you don't know how to look better, nothing has worked for you up to this point. Well, I have the solution, and it is actually pretty simple.

Don't Eat.

You see, the problem with other dieting books is they all make you eat stuff. Food has calories, and calories are what stand in the way between you and your health. Any scientist can tell you that cutting food out of your life will make you lose weight. My simple, easy to follow diet will start you in the right direction to getting the body you always wanted.

The easiest way to follow my diet is to sew your mouth shut. Since this makes communicating with the outside world more difficult (although everyone basically communicates through text/e-mail these days anyway), it is not mandatory. All that you need is a strong will, and an image in your head as to how you want to look like at the end of this diet.

Once you are ready, move on to chapter two to begin your journey.