Daytona. Enough Said

Every year, the Student Government Association puts on a trip to Daytona for all UD students. Being my senior year and because most of my friends will not be returning next year, I decided to embark on this once in a lifetime experience. And trust me, when I say once in a lifetime, this is something you will only want to experience once.

Five crumbling hotels, a handful of overcrowded bars, two hot as hell arcades, a slingshot, and the Atlantic Ocean: Dayton to Daytona in a nutshell.

I'm not saying I did not have fun. On the contrary, I had a blast. But if it wasn't for the fact that it only costs $200 for six nights in a second rate hotel, I'm sure most people would not do the trip. Here's the routine: Wake up 11am, free bagel at first hotel 11am-12pm, steamroll roommates that are still sleeping 12pm-1pm, free beer at the first hotel 1pm-3pm, nap 3pm-5pm, wake up sleeping roommates by blaring music 5pm-6pm, dinner 6pm-7:30pm, bars 8pm-11pm, arcade 11pm-3am, sleep 3am-11am, repeat the next day. As much fun as this was, it got a little repetitive. Although I am being a Debbie Downer about the whole experience right now, here are some of my favorite highlights from the trip.

The Drive

15 hours in the car with the same four people can be gruesome. But this trip was an exception. There were so many good times from this trip that it is hard to remember all of them. If you have ever heard the song 'Strokin' by Clarence Carter, you may get an idea of our enjoyable car ride. We 'stroked' to that song roughly thirty times, making sure to 'stroke' twice in every state we drove through. With a backseat that includes Jonesy, Jess, and myself, how can you go wrong? It was definitely the second best road trip of my life.

The Slingshot

Since Joyland Arcade only sold 32 oz beers, you definitely had to make sure you used the bathroom before riding this extreme thrill. Peeing your pants 200 feet in the air can be a little awkward, especially for your partner when he or she starts wondering why it was raining briefly only to find out that your pants are soaked once you are back on the ground. Trust me, I know.

In this death-defying experience, you and one other person are strapped down in a metal ball. The operator then leans you in your seat so you are facing the sky. Depending on the operator, he will then count down to three and shoot you off. Some operators are assholes and will count down from ten and shoot you off mid count. Either way, you are launched thousands of feet in the air only attached to two microscopically thin wires and a giant metal ball. The experience is even better when the only sound you can hear is the shrilling scream of the person next to you. Although terrifying before you leave the ground, the ride is actually a lot of fun after liftoff. Which is good because it is expensive.

I rode it twice. I'm a badass.

Warning: There's a 75% chance of wetting your pants.

Getting Teased by the Locals

Have I ever mentioned that I love the south? Well this Daytona trip quadrupled my undying love.

It all begins during the car ride down to Daytona. We are in a South Carolina Burger King ordering breakfast. I cough, with my mouth covered mind you. A South Carolina local sees me cough, stares me down for a good 20 seconds, then yells, "HAVE YOU BEEN TO MEXICO BOY!?"

Inside, I'm deathly afraid he is going to pull out his shotgun and blow my brains out. Bravely, I reply, "No, no I have not."

He responds, "WELL THEN COVER YOUR MOUTH BOY!"

"I did good sir, please don't hurt me."

"WHERE'S YOUR MASK BOY!"

"I left it in the car sir, I did not mean to offend you. I will never leave without my mask again, just please don't pull out your shotgun and blow my brains out all over this fine southern Burger King establishment. I only want to enjoy my savory Crossain'wich, my crispy tater tots, and my scalding hot coffee. I will kindly leave afterwards and get tested for swine flu." How I managed to make it out of that Burger King alive is still beyond me.

But the southern local enjoyment does not end there.

While at Mai Tai, a tropical oasis that serves excellent lava flows (a drink made of yellow and red, although I never got much red) is where my next two run ins occurred. My first began with a friend yelling my last name. A fine Daytona resident, missing three teeth and with an intrigued look on his face glances over at me and yells, "Your name is Cock!?"

"No sir, you are close, but my last name is actually Laycock."

Knowing perfectly well what I said, he replies, "So your name is Cock!?"

"Yes, Laycock."

"Haha, Cock!"

I felt like I was in the 7th grade all over again.

My final conversation with the Daytona folk occurred a couple days later, with a fine gentleman in his mid 40s who was flirting with Jess. She introduces the man to me in an attempt to divert his attention. I tell him my name is Dan. He then proceeds to say, "I have a son your age, but he is much better looking than you."

I am dumbfounded. What do you even say to that? A middle-aged man from a trashy Florida city is telling you that you are ugly. I respond with a simple 'ok.' He turns to Julie who was also with us at the time and tells her that I may be good looking, in my own way! Your self esteem is all but crushed when a Daytona local thinks you are ugly. I'm devastated.

All of these conversations actually happened, I couldn't make this stuff up.

Experiencing the Disney Magic

I went to Disney World mid Daytona. I'll post about this later, but just to let you know, the Disney magic is still flowing through my veins.

Poop in the Elevator, Vomit in the Urinal, and Pee in the Stairwell

If you want to go on the grimiest vacation of your life, go on Dayton to Daytona. Of course, disgusting things happen all the time in Dayton, but it is amplified by the fact that the trip encourages massive amounts of binge drinking.

My first encounter was at the Oyster Pub, Daytona's "best sports bar." Needing to relieve myself, I entered the bathroom. I walk straight ahead to one of the urinals only to see the one next to me overflowing with vomit. Sick. This is why I could never own a bar on a college campus. Cleaning vomit out of a urinal is not on my list of favorite things to do.

Motion City Soundtrack came to play for the D2D concert performed on Saturday. I watched the concert from a fourth floor balcony and saw the chaos ensue on the pool deck. After the concert, I entered the stairwell to head back down to the first floor only to run in to a man peeing on the third floor. I immediately went back up to the fourth and took an elevator down, although there were no guarantees that someone was peeing in that either. Luckily it was empty and I safely made it to the first floor urine free.

After walking home Saturday night around 3am, I entered the elevator of the second hotel only to find a nice chocolate nugget sitting right in the middle. Why someone would poop in an elevator is beyond me, but I had a blast with my roommates trying to figure out that one. Unfortunately for the person that dropped the deuce, the elevator was out of toilet paper, again!

If I learned anything from D2D, it's that Dayton students are classy.