Taking the Easy Way Out

4 posts in one week?

Check.

Richard

From left to right: The second coolest man ever, the first coolest man ever, and someone else.

The man with the kickin' shades is Richard, an employee at Six Flags Over Georgia and my nomination for the coolest man ever. Just looking at him it's pretty obvious why. The blinding yellow shirt and grand smile will grab your attention from a mile away. Not to mention this man knows how to bust a move! You will find him breaking it down for Goliath riders, one of Six Flag's most intense rides.

As strange as it may sound, Richard is probably the most memorable part of my trip to Georgia. He is the type of person I want to be in the future. You can tell that he truly loves his job and just has a great time with everyone he meets. If I am able to land a job where I can have as much fun as this guy, I will be a happy man. I should start looking into operating roller coasters for a living.

Richard also does not mess around. While in line during one of our 7 times riding the Goliath, a lady tried to sneak a bag on the ride with her. It is a park rule that you must put any loose articles in lockers before entering the line. Like most park guests that do not understand the basic rules of the park, this lady insisted on hiding the bag. You couldn't fool Richard though. The riders were locked in their seats, but he knew she still had the bag. Richard had the operator unlock her seat and he had her give the bag to someone that was not riding. Richard knows when to have fun but also knows when to crack down. What a guy.

It's also intriguing to note the kind of effects you can have on people without even knowing it. I'm sure Richard was just being himself and having a ball loading people in and out of cars, but his behavior and attitude towards his job and the people around him is inspiring. I took a lot out of the short amount of time I spent with the man. It makes me wonder if I've had an impact on anyone without even realizing it. Maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Anyways, Richard. Amazing man. If you ever get the chance to go to Six Flags Over Georgia, make sure to ride the Goliath and meet this man.

Dry-Erase Markers and a Few Odds and Ends

I think the biggest issue facing the University of Dayton today is dry-erase markers. Maybe it's just me, but in just about every class I've had this semester, the respective professor throws away at least two markers that ran out of whatever they put in dry-erase markers. 

A dry-erase marker costs roughly $1.50. I have on average two classes per day, equalling ten classes a week. That is a total of 20 markers thrown away every week due to dry-erase markers drying up. In my classes alone, that's about $450 of markers used per semester. Assuming many other professors use markers during their lectures, I am going to say the university spends roughly $7.5 million on dry-erase markers per year. Our tuition dollars hard at work.

One of my econ professors said Obama should have been busy supplying dry-erase markers to schools instead of worrying about the stimulus package. I'm going to have to agree with him. 

A few sidenotes

• Jackie and I are no longer friends. It's been Facebook official since yesterday.
  
• The fox in my last post is so flipping adorable.
• I am going to get diabetes after eating all the pastries I did in the FE Office today.
• I've been in a roller coaster mood ever since my trip to Six Flags Over Georgia. Anyone want to go to King's Island when it opens?
• Going grocery shopping hungry is one of the worst decisions one can make.

Evil Dogs with Big Ears

Funny that the last time I visited this blog was one post after I said I was going to post more frequently. Silly me. Keeping people content is tough when you start slacking. Lesson learned.

Here is a picture of a fox I saw while watching Planet Earth last night. It's the same size as a Jenny and probably just as annoying, but the ears are much larger.

The Fennec Fox, native to South Africa, has huge flipping ears. It can hear what you say about him from 15 miles away, so watch what you say, you wouldn't want to hurt his feelings. He's very sensitive and has low self-esteem because the other desert animals tease him about his massive you-know-whats.

Due to its excessively large auditory vessels, having this animal as a pet would be extremely difficult since it is likely to fly away like a pet canary. Ever see Dumbo?

Living with a small dog for the past few months I also know that they are conniving sons of biscuits (pardon my French).  Just look at the picture. The fox looks like one of the cutest animals in the world. However, you know this diabolical being is plotting how to squeeze out a chocolate nugget on your carpet near your roommate's bike. It can't fool me.

Peering into the souls of one of these foul beasts, I think you can get an idea of what I mean. Here is a picture of their true colors:

This is why none of the other desert animals care that they tease him. The Fennec Fox has already shit on all of their carpets.

See it now?

Google Analytics Says I'm Frickin' Sweet at Life

After about three months of trying to get Google Analytics to work on my blog, I managed to figure it out. The amount of information you can get from Analytics is nothing short of ridiculous. I can see how many people check out my website from different web browsers, what state people are viewing from, and even what they ate for breakfast. Turns out a large percentage of people who read Spicy Sauce are Captain Crunch fans. Who knew?

In just 16 days of Google analyzing data for my blog, I've had views from 9 different states and 2 countries. I don't want to brag, but the fact that someone in Canada was on my site for 3 whole seconds pretty much makes me an international superstar. Barack Obama's and the Spice Girls' stardom pales in comparison to my legendary status. Bottom line: I rock.

My only fear about Google Analytics is the possibility of it getting to my head. Now that I know I am better than all of you, I might get cocky and not care about my posts. But then again, I'm awesome so what does it even matter? I'm known all over the world. I can't wait until they make a movie about Spicy Blog Sauce.

Life Changing Revelation

Lately, as many of you are well aware, I have not been able to update my blog on a consistent basis. I used to be able to pump out at least nine or ten a month back in the glory days, but now it's basically a bi-monthly affair. In an effort to continuously improve my blog and keep readers coming back on a consistent basis, I am thinking about taking a new approach to the Spicy Sauce. I was reading my friend Darja's blog over at http://www.xanga.com/darcydarj (A blog that is twice as funny as mine and is updated just about every day) when I had a revelation.

The reason I do not have time to blog as often is because my posts are too awesome. It takes time to create such awesomeness, and time is what I lack. But how much awesome do I give up in order to be more consistent? My experiment is to make my posts less lengthy and only drop the awesome a smidge. If my posts are shorter, I can post more often and hopefully make my readers happy again. Thank you Darja. Your blog may have just changed my life.

I was reading "On the tip of my fingers..." for a brief period of time. It's a blog that was recommended by Blogger.com. I couldn't figure out how her blog was noteworthy, since mine is so much cooler but has not been noticed by Blogger. While sifting through her complaints of being lazy, PMS-ing, and not working out enough, I came across my new favorite website: GraphJam.com.

GraphJam.com is brought to you by the same great people that gave the world "I Can Has Cheezburger." It is chock full of hilarious graphs that people create and share with others who have a sense of humor. If the graphs were people, the following are the ones that I would put in my T-Mobile Fave Five so I could call them whenever I want for free.