I may have mentioned this before, but some hippie no name group puts together an event in the Cleveland area aptly named "The Corporate Challenge." Essentially it is a bunch of different games played by various companies. The sports that I know about include softball, putt-putt, volleyball, bowling, cornhole, and kickball. I was supposed to be Pease and Associates' "ringer" for softball, however the tournament was rained out. Therefore, my job was on the line for kickball. Perform well or face the possibility of losing my internship. No pressure.
The kickball tournament started bright and early, 12:30pm this past Saturday. I spent the previous night helping my parents with their paper route since their van broke down halfway through. It's a long story. Point is I was up from 3:30-7:30 Saturday morning. Considering what was at stake for this kickball tournament, I was not in the best shape to play already. Would I be able to pull through?
We arrive at the field around 11:30, and in typical Pease fashion, kick back a couple beers before we start. The tournament was incredibly unorganized, and the games were running late. Our original starting time of 12:30 was pushed back to 1:30. We take the field, with me playing shortstop. First game went by pretty smoothly, with Pease taking an unexpected win.
Then the waiting came. Since each game took much longer than expected, we ended up sitting around until our next game started TWO HOURS later. Luckily we brought plenty of beer to pass away the time (UD grads know how to play kickball).
To give you an idea of how unorganized this tournament was, let me give you some facts. There were probably a total of 25 teams in three separate divisions. Assuming each time has 8 players, that's about 200 people. There were also family members who came to watch, and the staff. I would say the total amount of people there was around 350. THERE WERE TWO PORT-O-POTTIES! AND TWO TRASH CANS! These cans were overflowing with garbage. I've never seen anything like it.
On to game two. We win again! We're thinking pretty highly of ourselves right now. With our expectations being two losses and leaving (It was a double elimination tournament), we were flying high. However, we were all getting tired and no one brought sunscreen so we were getting pretty burnt, me especially. I'm glowing red as I write this.
Game three. We lose. Damn.
Up to this point, I haven't done much to really stand out in order to keep my job. It's not that I was bad, but I wasn't anything special either. Then came game four. It was my time to shine. I think the opposing team wanted to help me keep my internship so they hit everything in my direction. Let me tell you, I was ready for it. At one point my teammates were saying they were only performing well because I willed it to happen. One teammate even exclaimed, "Thanks for willing me to catch the ball Legcock," after he caught a fly ball. I was nicknamed Legcock also. Funny, because its kickball. I use my legs. Between the 3rd and 4th innings, I recorded 6 straight outs. Not too shabby. I think it's safe to say my job is still intact.
Game 5. We lose again. Normally this would be a heartbreaker, but considering it was 7:30 in the afternoon, no one actually wanted to play anymore. The loss worked out in our favor.
22.6.09
Meet Antonio
I did not know what I was getting myself into during my bus ride this morning. I met this kid, roughly 16-17 years of age, that grew up in New York City before moving to Peoria, Il, then moving again to Euclid. The kid told me his life story on our 20 minute ride to downtown Cleveland, but regretably, I never got his name. He'll be working downtown throughout the summer so I'll have to get it on a future trip. I'll refer to him as Antonio for the time being.
I walk down the aisle and take a seat next to a small kid (Antonio), thinking it would be your average ride. He turns to me and asks, "Do you know where St. Clair Ave is?" I answer his question as best I can. He then says, "I just moved from Illinois so I don't know the area at all."
"Where at in Illinois are you from?" I inquire.
"Peoria."
"No way! My college roommate is from there!"
"What's his name?"
"Jordan Barth."
"I might have a cousin that knows him."
"Oh."
We then get to talking, and I find out how much of a delinquent this kid truly is. Don't get me wrong, I like the kid, but he is definitely trouble. He talked about his time in juvy, and how Cleveland juveniles are such wusses compared to the ones in New York. You can yell and taunt the kids in the Cleveland detention centers and they won't budge, but if you do it to a kid in NYC, they'll fight back. Good to know.
Apparently there was a girl in Cleveland that shaved her head so she could get in the boys detention center to avoid the girls one, because the girls are much, much worse. Girls, if you ever find yourself in juvy, make sure to shave your head to avoid trouble. It works.
Antonio loves the subway in New York. He gave me tips on how to avoid paying fares. All you have to do is wait until the train begins to move, climb to the roof, and hang on for dear life. Antonio has never payed for a fare in his life. Badass. He's able to do this kind of stuff because he's not afraid of heights. Living in NYC has made him fearless.
He learned how to drive at a young age. His biological father taught him to flip the bird to other New York drivers. His adopted father was not too happy when he saw Antonio flipping drivers off!
Antonio loves karate, but tends to get kicked out of martial arts schools. His teachers are a bunch of clowns that just don't understand how good he is. He kicked the ass of every black belt in one of his schools, but they refused to move him up in rank. He loved to spar against the girls at his karate school, because they were all fat and easy to dance around.
The best part came towards the end of the bus ride. Right before Antonio's stop, he pulled out his plastic gun that he uses to shoot poison tipped darts at people. It was a gun that shot foam darts, and he would put a poison tipped needle on the end of it. That freaked me out a little bit. I was kind of glad he was getting off the bus at that point.
I learned these and other life lessons today. Hopefully I will have more to share in the future.
I walk down the aisle and take a seat next to a small kid (Antonio), thinking it would be your average ride. He turns to me and asks, "Do you know where St. Clair Ave is?" I answer his question as best I can. He then says, "I just moved from Illinois so I don't know the area at all."
"Where at in Illinois are you from?" I inquire.
"Peoria."
"No way! My college roommate is from there!"
"What's his name?"
"Jordan Barth."
"I might have a cousin that knows him."
"Oh."
We then get to talking, and I find out how much of a delinquent this kid truly is. Don't get me wrong, I like the kid, but he is definitely trouble. He talked about his time in juvy, and how Cleveland juveniles are such wusses compared to the ones in New York. You can yell and taunt the kids in the Cleveland detention centers and they won't budge, but if you do it to a kid in NYC, they'll fight back. Good to know.
Apparently there was a girl in Cleveland that shaved her head so she could get in the boys detention center to avoid the girls one, because the girls are much, much worse. Girls, if you ever find yourself in juvy, make sure to shave your head to avoid trouble. It works.
Antonio loves the subway in New York. He gave me tips on how to avoid paying fares. All you have to do is wait until the train begins to move, climb to the roof, and hang on for dear life. Antonio has never payed for a fare in his life. Badass. He's able to do this kind of stuff because he's not afraid of heights. Living in NYC has made him fearless.
He learned how to drive at a young age. His biological father taught him to flip the bird to other New York drivers. His adopted father was not too happy when he saw Antonio flipping drivers off!
Antonio loves karate, but tends to get kicked out of martial arts schools. His teachers are a bunch of clowns that just don't understand how good he is. He kicked the ass of every black belt in one of his schools, but they refused to move him up in rank. He loved to spar against the girls at his karate school, because they were all fat and easy to dance around.
The best part came towards the end of the bus ride. Right before Antonio's stop, he pulled out his plastic gun that he uses to shoot poison tipped darts at people. It was a gun that shot foam darts, and he would put a poison tipped needle on the end of it. That freaked me out a little bit. I was kind of glad he was getting off the bus at that point.
I learned these and other life lessons today. Hopefully I will have more to share in the future.
18.6.09
Dirty Pop
Sick and tired of hearing all these people talk about,
What's the deal with this pop life, and when is it gonna fade out?
The thing you got to realize what we doing is not a trend.
We got the gift of melody, we gonna bring it till the end.
(Come on now)
It doesn't matter
'Bout the car I drive or what I wear around my neck.
All that matters
Is that you recognize that it's just about respect.
It doesn't matter
About the clothes I wear and where I go and why.
All that matters
Is that you get hyped and we'll do it to you every time.
(Come on now)
Do you ever wonder why
This music gets you high?
It takes you on a ride
Feel it when your body
Starts to rock
(Your body starts to rock)
Baby you can't stop
(You can't stop)
And the music's all you got
Come on now
This must be, pop
Dirty pop
Baby bet you can't stop
I know you like this dirty pop
This must be
Now,why you wanna try to classify the type of thing we do?
'Cause we're just fine doin' what we like, can we say the same for you?
Tired of feelin all around me animosity.
Just worry about yours 'cause I'ma get mine.
Now people can't you see
It doesn't matter
'Bout the car I drive or the ice around my neck.
All that matters
Is that you recognize that it's just about respect (oh)
It doesn't matter
About the clothes I wear and where I go and why.
All that matters
Is that you get hyped and we'll give it to you every time.
(Come on)
Do you ever wonder why (Why?)
This music gets you high?
(Gets you high)
It takes you on a ride
Feel it when your
Body starts to rock
(Your body starts to rock)
Baby you can't stop
(You can't stop)
And the music's all you got
Baby come on
This must be, pop
Ooh
Man I'm tired of singing.
Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
What's the deal with this pop life, and when is it gonna fade out?
The thing you got to realize what we doing is not a trend.
We got the gift of melody, we gonna bring it till the end.
(Come on now)
It doesn't matter
'Bout the car I drive or what I wear around my neck.
All that matters
Is that you recognize that it's just about respect.
It doesn't matter
About the clothes I wear and where I go and why.
All that matters
Is that you get hyped and we'll do it to you every time.
(Come on now)
Do you ever wonder why
This music gets you high?
It takes you on a ride
Feel it when your body
Starts to rock
(Your body starts to rock)
Baby you can't stop
(You can't stop)
And the music's all you got
Come on now
This must be, pop
Dirty pop
Baby bet you can't stop
I know you like this dirty pop
This must be
Now,why you wanna try to classify the type of thing we do?
'Cause we're just fine doin' what we like, can we say the same for you?
Tired of feelin all around me animosity.
Just worry about yours 'cause I'ma get mine.
Now people can't you see
It doesn't matter
'Bout the car I drive or the ice around my neck.
All that matters
Is that you recognize that it's just about respect (oh)
It doesn't matter
About the clothes I wear and where I go and why.
All that matters
Is that you get hyped and we'll give it to you every time.
(Come on)
Do you ever wonder why (Why?)
This music gets you high?
(Gets you high)
It takes you on a ride
Feel it when your
Body starts to rock
(Your body starts to rock)
Baby you can't stop
(You can't stop)
And the music's all you got
Baby come on
This must be, pop
Ooh
Man I'm tired of singing.
Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
17.6.09
Bus Rides
Not having a car can be a bit of a downer, but riding the public transit can definitely have its perks. I arrive at the bus stop at 8am every day and let my imagination run wild.
For starters, there is one lady who waits at the bus stop with me...usually. Occasionally a random man in a white Cadillac will drive up to the stop and she will hop in the car and wait there until the bus arrives. Sometimes the man even gives her a ride to the stop, but usually he comes a little after she gets there. It's all a bit shady, and I can't help but think that there are some extramarital affairs occurring, or at least I hope so. That would make waiting for the bus much juicier. Bus stop gossip is the best kind of gossip.
The past couple morning bus rides have been extraordinary. Yesterday, a couple sitting to my left had the wildest conversation I have ever heard in my life. It was mainly the guy talking, but every word that came out of his mouth was LOLworthy. I would reiterate it word for word, but I like to keep the swearing on my blog to a minimum. About every other word that came out of his mouth was the F-bomb. Just to give you an idea, I overheard talks of telling a doctor to shove his head up his own ass, destroying every car we passed on the freeway, and not giving a f%*$ about anything. It was extremely hard not to laugh the entire way to work.
This morning, the lady to my right was supposedly talking to one of her friends on the phone. Nothing special, except halfway through the conversation she started talking about how she didn't understand why the cops were called, she wasn't actually going to kill anyone. Apparently this girl was arrested for aggravated assault, or something like that, I'm not really up on my crime lingo. It came out of left field. It blows my mind that you can find these treasure conversations on the RTA. I love it.
In other news, I got my first postcards (Diane, I have not received yours, sorry). The first place I can cross off my list is........West Virginia! And to make life even better, I have two of them!
For starters, there is one lady who waits at the bus stop with me...usually. Occasionally a random man in a white Cadillac will drive up to the stop and she will hop in the car and wait there until the bus arrives. Sometimes the man even gives her a ride to the stop, but usually he comes a little after she gets there. It's all a bit shady, and I can't help but think that there are some extramarital affairs occurring, or at least I hope so. That would make waiting for the bus much juicier. Bus stop gossip is the best kind of gossip.
The past couple morning bus rides have been extraordinary. Yesterday, a couple sitting to my left had the wildest conversation I have ever heard in my life. It was mainly the guy talking, but every word that came out of his mouth was LOLworthy. I would reiterate it word for word, but I like to keep the swearing on my blog to a minimum. About every other word that came out of his mouth was the F-bomb. Just to give you an idea, I overheard talks of telling a doctor to shove his head up his own ass, destroying every car we passed on the freeway, and not giving a f%*$ about anything. It was extremely hard not to laugh the entire way to work.
This morning, the lady to my right was supposedly talking to one of her friends on the phone. Nothing special, except halfway through the conversation she started talking about how she didn't understand why the cops were called, she wasn't actually going to kill anyone. Apparently this girl was arrested for aggravated assault, or something like that, I'm not really up on my crime lingo. It came out of left field. It blows my mind that you can find these treasure conversations on the RTA. I love it.
In other news, I got my first postcards (Diane, I have not received yours, sorry). The first place I can cross off my list is........West Virginia! And to make life even better, I have two of them!
14.6.09
Becoming Famous the Easy Way
I've been on a bit of a Justin Timberlake kick lately. Not just his music (especially when he was with N'Sync, OMG), but also his laid back celebrity personality. There's something about his random appearances on Saturday Night Live skits that makes me admire him. As I sit here and write this post while JT is bringing sexy back on my iPod, I can't help but think that he's the type of celebrity I would want to be like if (make that when) I become famous.
But the underlying question is, how do I become that famous? Looking back at JT's career, it actually looks relatively straightfoward: Join the Mickey Mouse Club, be the lead singer of a boy band, bang a famous singer, leave the boy band and do it all yourself instead, bang more famous people, do a couple acting side jobs, and appear on just about every episode of SNL. Easy. I already love Disney World so I'm off to a good start.
Unfortunately, I can't sing for the life of me and people make sure I know about it. Since no one wants to hear me sing, that impedes my ability to join a boy band, which in turn makes it much more difficult to bang a famous singer (although I'm not going to rule it out). Seeing as I'm a talentless accountant from the Midwest also really sets me back a bit. Getting famous the JT way is probably out of the question.
But then I thought, who is the most famous person ever? Only one name came to mind: David Hasselhoff. He doesn't sing, hardly acts, and yet, people can't get enough of him. Becoming famous the Hasselhoff way is soooo much simpler too: Get a car that can talk, become a lifeguard, then pretend to be a judge on a sub-par talent competition. It's so easy, I can't believe I didn't think about it before!
Fame and fortune, here I come!
But the underlying question is, how do I become that famous? Looking back at JT's career, it actually looks relatively straightfoward: Join the Mickey Mouse Club, be the lead singer of a boy band, bang a famous singer, leave the boy band and do it all yourself instead, bang more famous people, do a couple acting side jobs, and appear on just about every episode of SNL. Easy. I already love Disney World so I'm off to a good start.
Unfortunately, I can't sing for the life of me and people make sure I know about it. Since no one wants to hear me sing, that impedes my ability to join a boy band, which in turn makes it much more difficult to bang a famous singer (although I'm not going to rule it out). Seeing as I'm a talentless accountant from the Midwest also really sets me back a bit. Getting famous the JT way is probably out of the question.
But then I thought, who is the most famous person ever? Only one name came to mind: David Hasselhoff. He doesn't sing, hardly acts, and yet, people can't get enough of him. Becoming famous the Hasselhoff way is soooo much simpler too: Get a car that can talk, become a lifeguard, then pretend to be a judge on a sub-par talent competition. It's so easy, I can't believe I didn't think about it before!
Fame and fortune, here I come!
10.6.09
Cheap Post
I'm going for a cheap thrill today. I was looking through some pictures and videos on my phone, when I came across these. They are some of the embarrassing videos people have sent me. I figured most of you have already seen them, so no harm no foul.
This first one was on the car ride HOME from Daytona as you can tell with the Mickey hands that I cherish so much. Not sure how I had this much energy, but the backseat was a dance party for about 15 hours.
This is me over 56 Woodland dancing with umbrellas because I was sick of playing Boom. I've come to hate that game. It never ended well for me.
Also, it is now a lifelong dream of mine to be a part of this:
This first one was on the car ride HOME from Daytona as you can tell with the Mickey hands that I cherish so much. Not sure how I had this much energy, but the backseat was a dance party for about 15 hours.
This is me over 56 Woodland dancing with umbrellas because I was sick of playing Boom. I've come to hate that game. It never ended well for me.
Also, it is now a lifelong dream of mine to be a part of this:
9.6.09
-
You would think that living with five other siblings, I would have plenty to do in my spare time. Unfortunately, none of them are ever around, leaving me depressed and alone in a big, empty house. I don't mind growing up, but I'm not as big of a fan of the rest of my family growing up too. Anyways...
My mind is drawing a complete blank right now, I guess I spoke too soon about that "orgasm of creativity" I mentioned yesterday. For today, I'm just going to leave you with a few facts you may or may not know about me.
Name: Daniel James Laycock
Hair color: Brown
Eye color: Blue
Hometown: Euclid, OH
Social Security #: Get real
Siblings: 2 brothers, 3 sisters
Major: Accounting
Minor: Economics (I always forget I have that)
Favorite Food: Beef stroganoff (I only really know it's my favorite food because my mom makes it a priority to make it every time I come home from school)
Favorite Movie: Forrest Gump or Heavyweights probably
Favorite Black President of the United States of America: Barack Obama
Favorite Grape Juice: the dark kind
Favorite Musician: Clarence Carter (I'm strokin!)
Favorite Childhood Memory: Playing war with my brothers and sisters. This involved me and my brother picking teams and fighting each other to "the death." Every time my mom got pregnant, we would have to fight it out to see who would get the new sibling. These battles usually got pretty intense and someone would end up grounded for weeks on end.
Favorite College Memory: Dancing with umbrellas
Favorite Ice Cream: The Galley flavor of the month
Favorite Fancy Restaurant: ArtStreet Cafe
Broken bones: 2. Broke my nose when I was 9 playing baseball. Broke my hand sophomore year of college playing basketball.
Favorite Dog: Not Jenny.
That's about all I got today. I'll get back to the grind tomorrow, don't you worry your little self.
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