Spicy Mythbusters!

Mythbusters has been one of my favorite shows of the new millennium. Even though the show has lost its steam over the past couple years, I'll still watch it from time to time. Through the use of scientific research, I've decided to crack a few myths of my own.

Myth #1: Sam is better than me at basketball.

This has been a hot topic in 405 as of late. The trash talking that went on between Sam and I reached new levels and the only way to solve the problem was to go head to head on the court. Now, I'll admit, I was a little worried knowing Sam could at any minute "end my life with a 360 slam from the 3 point line," but overall I was confident I could take this man. After gathering some crucial scientific data, the result is pretty conclusive. By taking a best of 3 series with a 10-5 win followed by a 10-6 win, I can say with confidence that this myth is...

BUSTED!

Myth #2: I am a cheater.

Word around the water cooler is, I don't know where my loyalties lie. Some will accuse me of being a die-hard ArtStreet Cafe fan while I should be in love with the Flyer Enterprise's office. Now although it is true that I am still in love with the Cafe, the time I have had with the office is irreplaceable. Plus, is it even possible to cheat on a location? I always thought that was special bond held between two dysfunctional people. Science tells me this myth is...

BUSTED!

Myth #3: I am an over-achiever.

At the recent accounting team meeting, I was accused of being an "over-achiever" because I studied for my audit test over Thanksgiving break. Not realizing that everyone else was waiting until the hour before the test to start studying, I began to feel like I left all of my fellow accountants in the dust. Although I tend to procrastinate with everything else, the research I found concludes that the myth is in fact...

PLAUSIBLE!

Myth #4: Jenny is Cute.

This is an assumption made by almost anyone who first lays their eyes on the little Jack Russell. Being completely frustrated with everyone for thinking she is cute, I decided to do a little digging to find out if this myth is in fact true. Here is a list of what I uncovered. Everything in the list is rated on a cuteness scale between 1-10:

• Jenny is a small, energetic puppy that likes to cuddle with you: 10
• There are Jenny logs scattered throughout the house to step in: 2
• Jenny has a loud, shrill bark that will keep you up at night and interfere with TV watching: 1.5
• Jenny is a total chick magnet: 10
• Jenny runs from me when I approach: 7
• Jenny is terrified when I chase her around the house: 10
  

Averaging the cuteness factor of all the scientific criteria, Jenny has a cuteness factor of 6.75. Now, in dog years, that's a cuteness factor of over 40! Unfortunately for me, on a cuteness scale of 1-10, 40 is pretty damn cute. I'm going to have to say this myth is...

CONFIRMED!

Myth #5: Diane will get an entire blog post dedicated to her.

BUSTED!

I hope you enjoyed my version of Mythbusters. I know it doesn't contain half the amount of explosions and pyrotechnics as the original, but at least you can finally put to rest all of those rumors that have been going around through the use of SCIENCE!

Until next time...