I was reading an article today about how moths are able to trick bats using the same sonar techniques that the bats use. The article made me think about how much it would suck to be a bat. Every single member of your specie is blind and can only find its way around by an annoying high pitched yell. Not only that, but a simple moth can fake you out. That would be smelly.
It would also blow to be a squirrel. Mainly because most of your family members will die by getting hit by a car. Someone needs to get the ball rolling on teaching these squirrels how to look both ways before crossing the street.
16.7.09
15.7.09
$23,148,855,308,184,500
The Goodyear building that was across the street from where I work was recently torn down/blown up/something of the sort. Workers have been destroying the rubble for the past two weeks now, and we are able to see the demolition from our 8th story windows.
One man out of the wrecking crew has the best job in the world: as the machines destroy what remains of the building, this man must hold a hose and spray the crushed rocks to make sure dust is kept to a minimum. Every time I've looked outside, he is there holding the hose. I don't know how this man found this job, but sign me up!
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I saw this article today while at work (Quadrillion Dollar Charge). Thought it was hilarious. A man goes to the gas station and buys a pack of smokes, checks his debit card balance later, and sees he was charged $23 quadrillion dollars. No joke. CNN put it beautifully saying, "He noticed that his debt exceeded the world GDP while making a routine balance inquiry..." How cool would it be to have more debt than every country in the world combined for a short period of time? 23 quadrillion! Imagine seeing that on your credit card statement! The actual total was $23,148,855,308,184,500. Easily the most expensive pack of cigarettes ever.
One man out of the wrecking crew has the best job in the world: as the machines destroy what remains of the building, this man must hold a hose and spray the crushed rocks to make sure dust is kept to a minimum. Every time I've looked outside, he is there holding the hose. I don't know how this man found this job, but sign me up!
--------------------------------------
I saw this article today while at work (Quadrillion Dollar Charge). Thought it was hilarious. A man goes to the gas station and buys a pack of smokes, checks his debit card balance later, and sees he was charged $23 quadrillion dollars. No joke. CNN put it beautifully saying, "He noticed that his debt exceeded the world GDP while making a routine balance inquiry..." How cool would it be to have more debt than every country in the world combined for a short period of time? 23 quadrillion! Imagine seeing that on your credit card statement! The actual total was $23,148,855,308,184,500. Easily the most expensive pack of cigarettes ever.
14.7.09
The Bus, The Bus, The Bus Is On FIRE!
I made one of the most regrettable decisions of my young life earlier today. What was that decision you ask? Well read on and you'll find out. Do you actually think I would leave you hanging like that?
It was quite a normal day at the office. Did a few odds and ends jobs for about eight hours, then headed home. On the bus. Yes, I may have a car now, but I have my reasons for still taking public transportation, like near-death experiences such as today. Ok, it wasn't that close to death, but still, it was crazy.
Continuing, the bus gets on the freeway and we're well on our way home. Things were going pretty smoothly until...BOOM! The engine starts sputtering and we pull of to the side of the road. I was sitting a couple rows from the back, when all of the sudden smoke begins flooding the cabin from the rear (the engine is located in the back of the bus). Having no clue as to what was going on, everyone gets off and stands around trying to figure out how they will be getting home.
Then, I look over at the bus. To my surprise, THE ENGINE WAS ON FIRE! I take a few more steps back in anticipation of a huge explosion, you know, the kind that throws you ten feet in the air which you only see in action movies. The bus driver grabs a fire extinguisher from inside the bus and puts out the ginormous blaze. He saved our lives right then, and I never got the chance to thank him. The backup bus had arrived and I didn't want to miss it.
BUT WAIT! There's more! (In honor of Billy Mays) While watching the inferno, a friend from high school, who just so happened to be on the same bus, comes up to me. We start chit-chatting, and I find out this was the second bus he has been on that has caught on fire! Apparently this is a routine thing that happens in Cleveland's RTA system. Really makes one feel secure knowing your rapid can burn to the ground at any second.
My regrettable decision? Not taking a picture of that majestic flame that made its home in the RTA engine. Sigh...
Chances are it will happen again though, so there will be plenty of other opportunities!
It was quite a normal day at the office. Did a few odds and ends jobs for about eight hours, then headed home. On the bus. Yes, I may have a car now, but I have my reasons for still taking public transportation, like near-death experiences such as today. Ok, it wasn't that close to death, but still, it was crazy.
Continuing, the bus gets on the freeway and we're well on our way home. Things were going pretty smoothly until...BOOM! The engine starts sputtering and we pull of to the side of the road. I was sitting a couple rows from the back, when all of the sudden smoke begins flooding the cabin from the rear (the engine is located in the back of the bus). Having no clue as to what was going on, everyone gets off and stands around trying to figure out how they will be getting home.
Then, I look over at the bus. To my surprise, THE ENGINE WAS ON FIRE! I take a few more steps back in anticipation of a huge explosion, you know, the kind that throws you ten feet in the air which you only see in action movies. The bus driver grabs a fire extinguisher from inside the bus and puts out the ginormous blaze. He saved our lives right then, and I never got the chance to thank him. The backup bus had arrived and I didn't want to miss it.
BUT WAIT! There's more! (In honor of Billy Mays) While watching the inferno, a friend from high school, who just so happened to be on the same bus, comes up to me. We start chit-chatting, and I find out this was the second bus he has been on that has caught on fire! Apparently this is a routine thing that happens in Cleveland's RTA system. Really makes one feel secure knowing your rapid can burn to the ground at any second.
My regrettable decision? Not taking a picture of that majestic flame that made its home in the RTA engine. Sigh...
Chances are it will happen again though, so there will be plenty of other opportunities!
12.7.09
This used to be on the bathroom wall at my family's former house. Completely forgot about it until my sister sent me the Facebook bumper sticker.
I think it took me about 16 years to figure out what four letters filled in the blanks. I always assumed "poop" but realized later in life it may be something a little more vulgar. I was such a naive little boy. Still am, actually.
I think it took me about 16 years to figure out what four letters filled in the blanks. I always assumed "poop" but realized later in life it may be something a little more vulgar. I was such a naive little boy. Still am, actually.
7.7.09
Fat People Are Angry Drivers
There are so many places I want to go, but I don't have the money. Funny thing is, when I actually do have money I probably won't have the time. Bogus. I should just become I pilot.
I knew I should have invested my money in AOL stock when I was six! I would hardly have to give a thought to trivial things like time and money. Instead, I blew it all on video games, candy, and hard drugs. I wasn't the most financially savvy adolescent.
Advice I've been getting from some of my coworkers: Never leave college. It sucks. Apparently I don't work with the most optimistic people. Then again, I work in an accounting firm, so I guess it's to be expected.
Taking I-77 North from the west side of Cleveland to get to I-90 East is probably the most confusing thing ever. I switched lanes about 7 times to try and get in the right one and ended up downtown on my way home. A slight detour, luckily there's a lot to see in downtown C-town, like the giant FREE stamp, or...actually that about covers it. I also realized the east side of Cleveland has about 1/4th the amount of traffic as the west side. Looks like I lucked out.
While on the subject of driving, apparently Cleveland ranks #2 for the most friendliest drivers in America, right behind Portland. Cincinnati ranks #9 as the least courteous drivers, right behind New York, Dallas, Detroit, Atlanta, Minneapolis/St. Paul, Phoenix, Miami, and Houston (http://www.bizjournals.com/boston/stories/2009/06/15/daily29.html).
Also of note: Of the top 10 cities listed as the least courteous drivers, 7 of them also rank among the top 25 fattest cities (New York, Dallas, Detroit, Phoenix, Miami, Houston, San Diego) (http://www.mensfitness.com/lifestyle/216).
Coincidence???
I knew I should have invested my money in AOL stock when I was six! I would hardly have to give a thought to trivial things like time and money. Instead, I blew it all on video games, candy, and hard drugs. I wasn't the most financially savvy adolescent.
Advice I've been getting from some of my coworkers: Never leave college. It sucks. Apparently I don't work with the most optimistic people. Then again, I work in an accounting firm, so I guess it's to be expected.
Taking I-77 North from the west side of Cleveland to get to I-90 East is probably the most confusing thing ever. I switched lanes about 7 times to try and get in the right one and ended up downtown on my way home. A slight detour, luckily there's a lot to see in downtown C-town, like the giant FREE stamp, or...actually that about covers it. I also realized the east side of Cleveland has about 1/4th the amount of traffic as the west side. Looks like I lucked out.
While on the subject of driving, apparently Cleveland ranks #2 for the most friendliest drivers in America, right behind Portland. Cincinnati ranks #9 as the least courteous drivers, right behind New York, Dallas, Detroit, Atlanta, Minneapolis/St. Paul, Phoenix, Miami, and Houston (http://www.bizjournals.com/boston/stories/2009/06/15/daily29.html).
Also of note: Of the top 10 cities listed as the least courteous drivers, 7 of them also rank among the top 25 fattest cities (New York, Dallas, Detroit, Phoenix, Miami, Houston, San Diego) (http://www.mensfitness.com/lifestyle/216).
Coincidence???
6.7.09
Michael Jackson And The South: A Dynamic Combo
I sorely miss the south. Every trip I've ever taken has been an out of this world experience. Southern folk are second to none, and the south is home to the best restaurant franchises the world over. I'm sure there are so many other hidden gems that I have yet to discover, and something tells me I'll be down there in the near future.
60+ degrees everyday in the dead of winter? Helloooo? How awesome is that?
All my southern fantasies have me thinking. What if the Civil War went the other way? Would America's roles be reversed? That is, would Northern folk be high class white trash and the people down under be normal? Would New Yorkers proudly display the American flag across their pickup trucks like so many Southerners do with the Confederate flag? What about Montana? Would people actually recognize that it exists? Would I be living on a cotton plantation right now? Would I have a son your age, but much better looking than you? So many unanswered questions that I am dying to know.
I'm also curious how many more hits on my blog I can get if I mention Michael Jackson a lot. Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson, Jacko, the King of Pop, Jesus juice, Neverland, little boy lover, Michael Jackson, Thriller, Beat It, Free Willy, Michael Jackson. That should get a few, right?
Putting aside the abuse of a dead person for the sake of blog popularity, there is something of interest in the Jackson ordeal. His memorial service is tomorrow. 1.6 million people fought for the chance to attend, with 17,500 people getting tickets. As you would expect, tickets started popping up on eBay and Craigslist. Granted, both eBay and Craigslist tried to stop the auctions, which is for the best. Even I find it a bit sketchy to try and profit off of someone's death (even though I did just use it to boost blog visits). But get this, bidding for tickets reached upwards of $15,000! How insane is that!? You really have a lot of extra cash laying around if your willing to drop that much on a memorial service. Who needs Obama's stimulus plan? Leave it to Michael to find a way to solve the economic crisis.
People are nuts.
60+ degrees everyday in the dead of winter? Helloooo? How awesome is that?
All my southern fantasies have me thinking. What if the Civil War went the other way? Would America's roles be reversed? That is, would Northern folk be high class white trash and the people down under be normal? Would New Yorkers proudly display the American flag across their pickup trucks like so many Southerners do with the Confederate flag? What about Montana? Would people actually recognize that it exists? Would I be living on a cotton plantation right now? Would I have a son your age, but much better looking than you? So many unanswered questions that I am dying to know.
I'm also curious how many more hits on my blog I can get if I mention Michael Jackson a lot. Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson, Jacko, the King of Pop, Jesus juice, Neverland, little boy lover, Michael Jackson, Thriller, Beat It, Free Willy, Michael Jackson. That should get a few, right?
Putting aside the abuse of a dead person for the sake of blog popularity, there is something of interest in the Jackson ordeal. His memorial service is tomorrow. 1.6 million people fought for the chance to attend, with 17,500 people getting tickets. As you would expect, tickets started popping up on eBay and Craigslist. Granted, both eBay and Craigslist tried to stop the auctions, which is for the best. Even I find it a bit sketchy to try and profit off of someone's death (even though I did just use it to boost blog visits). But get this, bidding for tickets reached upwards of $15,000! How insane is that!? You really have a lot of extra cash laying around if your willing to drop that much on a memorial service. Who needs Obama's stimulus plan? Leave it to Michael to find a way to solve the economic crisis.
People are nuts.
3.7.09
Bones 2
During my freshman year of college, I came home one random weekend at the beginning of November. Whenever I come home, something changes, and this occasion was no different. I was outside with my family when a cat that I have never seen before comes up to the porch. I'm pretty sure this cat was as close to death as possible at the time. I've never felt anything as skinny as that thing.
My family tends to give our pets very descriptive names. For instance, we have a black cat named Black and a grey one named Grey. Going with this trend, it was only appropriate to name this new one Bones. Unfortunately, that trip home was the only time I would ever see Bones. He stopped showing up by the time I came home for Thanksgiving Break. I'm pretty sure he's about as dead as Michael Jackson (too soon?).
Funny story, I go out to the porch today and see my sister petting an unknown cat (unknown to me at least). I asked what it was, and my sister sarcastically says, "It's a cat." I tell her I hate her and go back inside.
Apparently it's a new cat that's been showing up for the past few days. Considering I've been home for the past two months, I have no idea how I did not know about it. My family doesn't tell me anything.
Anyway, this cat is pretty skinny as well. It does not have a name (known to us), so I've been calling it Bones 2. It is the second grossest cat to touch, right behind the original Bones. After petting it, you can't help but have the urge to wash your hands right away. Everyone avoids its tail when petting it, because it's covered in crap.
We'll see how long Bones 2 can last.
My family tends to give our pets very descriptive names. For instance, we have a black cat named Black and a grey one named Grey. Going with this trend, it was only appropriate to name this new one Bones. Unfortunately, that trip home was the only time I would ever see Bones. He stopped showing up by the time I came home for Thanksgiving Break. I'm pretty sure he's about as dead as Michael Jackson (too soon?).
Funny story, I go out to the porch today and see my sister petting an unknown cat (unknown to me at least). I asked what it was, and my sister sarcastically says, "It's a cat." I tell her I hate her and go back inside.
Apparently it's a new cat that's been showing up for the past few days. Considering I've been home for the past two months, I have no idea how I did not know about it. My family doesn't tell me anything.
Anyway, this cat is pretty skinny as well. It does not have a name (known to us), so I've been calling it Bones 2. It is the second grossest cat to touch, right behind the original Bones. After petting it, you can't help but have the urge to wash your hands right away. Everyone avoids its tail when petting it, because it's covered in crap.
We'll see how long Bones 2 can last.
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