The Devil Went Down to Georgia (Written in Georgia Font)

A lot of firsts have happened in my life recently. Many of them are tied to my multiple trips to the great state of Georgia (Go Bulldogs!). Coincidentally, going to Georgia was a recent first in and of itself. Here’s a brief list of my “first” accomplishments this past month. I am so proud of myself!

Went to The Dirty South (Atlanta and Savannah)

To start, I want to extend my deepest apologies to anyone I offend by calling it “The Dirty South.” Moving on…

There’s so much to be said about the South. So much that I have no idea where to start. Wait…yes I do.

Nothing beats an authentic southern accent. Hearing a southerner talk is like listening to a rock band made of ten glorious angels all singing harmoniously to the most beautiful song ever created. It may be a small understatement but I think you get the picture.

There’s also an array of fast-food restaurants only found in The South. Some chains may be found in The Clean North, but are so much better down below. Krystal, a White Castle look alike, took the cake out of all the establishments I ventured in to. The names of their products are impeccable, and the people you find in a Krystal are one in a million. During my trip, I had a Cheese-O-Nator combo, which consisted of FIVE small, greasy cheeseburgers, a side of chili-cheese fries, and a drink. I may have felt like throwing up afterwards, but the entire experience will be something I remember forever.

Moral of the story: I love The Dirty South!

Touched the Atlantic Ocean

Incredibly, I have never even been close to the Atlantic Ocean before this past week. The farthest out of Ohio I’ve ever traveled was Illinois, which is a small step in the wrong direction. Being a man who has not experienced much of planet Earth, putting my cute little toes in the enormous body of water was a HUGE milestone in my life.

Despite my fear of jellyfish and dying of dehydration from drinking too much saltwater, I managed to dunk my entire body in the Atlantic. Let’s just say the water was a little colder than what you would find in a hot tub, and by a little I mean about 60 degrees colder. Not to mention saltwater tastes exactly like it sound: salty. My only regret during the experience was not bringing unsalted french fries with me. The extra salt from the ocean would have been undeniably satisfying.

Played an on-screen board game

To clarify, by on-screen board game I mean one that is played on the television, such as Scene-It. In fact, the first game I played was “Scene-It: Squabble,” a men vs. women pop culture board game with movie and television trivia that one gender would find easy while the other would find more challenging. Needless to say, my extensive knowledge of chick flicks made this game a breeze. I took the Hey sisters down without much trouble.

My second experience (which occurred right after the first) was “Trivial Pursuit: Pop Culture.” The questions in this game were far more challenging and the Heys put up more of a fight. For anyone who has not played Trivial Pursuit, the point of the game is to collect 6 pieces of a pie and then make it back to the center on an exact role. Although that description will not help you understand the game at all, my point is I had a little trouble getting that exact role to make it to the center for the win. With an incredibly controversial move on Michelle’s part, she managed to squeak by with a win. Whether or not her actions should credit her with an actual win is still up in the air. Despite my loss, and Michelle’s cheating, I still managed to have fun with my first television board game.

Ate at a Sonic

Sonics are amazing. Their menu is huge and many of their items are unique. If I had the choice, I would have ordered one of everything. Unfortunately I did not have the cash or four stomachs to live out my dream. I had a number five (I could not tell you what I actually ordered because my memory is such a blur with all the amazingness that was going on) with TATER TOTS! What other fast food establishment offers tater tots with their combos!? Unbelievable. Hands down the best restaurant in North America.

I also had an ice cream cone. That was good too.

Honorable Mention

Like I said, the past month was chock-full of firsts for me. So many in fact, it would take me 10.5 billion years to write a brief description for each of them. It would also take me roughly 30 minutes to just list all of them. In an effort to save myself a little time, here are a few firsts that I was too lazy to write about. I may or may not write about some in a later post. Like my experience riding mopeds. That was fun.

·         Slept in my Snuggie.

·         Slept in the back of a Honda Civic.

·         Went to an amusement park outside the state of Ohio.

·         Ate lamb.

·         Ate Yorkshire pudding

·         Ate at a Chick-Fil-A

·         Went somewhere other than home for an entire school break.

·         Sat in a hot tub with only myself and four other women (Ow Ow!).

·         Left at 1 am to go on an 8 hour road trip.

·         Purchased a season pass to an amusement park I will never go to again.

·         Purchased an article of clothing from J. Crew and Banana Republic.

·         Rode mopeds.

·         Took a road trip greater than 6 hours.

·         Lost in a Sudoku contest.

·         Won in a Sudoku contest.

·         Went to a Flea Market (I am definitely going to talk about this one in a later post).

·         Went to a redneck bar and played pong in said bar.