Taco Thursday

Nice striped jacket Dan. Nice striped jacket Dan! NICE STRIPED JACKET DAN!!!!!

It's all I ever hear any more.

My Life Is One Big Mistake

Everyone has their flaws, but for some reason people have decided to point mine out over the past week. Lucky for me, I'm someone who is able to take it, mainly because I can turn around and bitch about it in my blog. Here is a short list of my flaws that have been brought to my attention.

1.) I Drag My Feet

The weather has been warm lately, so like most college kids, I like to wear flip flops. They're light, comfortable, and let people see my beautiful toesies. Unfortunately there is an awful side effect of the toe-thonged sandals: dragging your feet is much easier. The stride to my walk is low, so when I wear flip flops, they will scrape the ground much easier than when I am in shoes. Although I feel this is a common problem among sandal wearers, my scraping tends to be louder than the average person. Thanks to a few friends of mine, I am now much more self-conscious about the way I walk.

If you see me walking around incredibly awkward, it's because I'm aware of my dragging and trying to keep my feet off the ground. This usually is done by raising my knees to my chest. Extremely uncomfortable but my feet are on the ground a lot less.

To go along with that, I also tend to stomp when I walk through the house. I guess I never got this walking thing down.

2.) Birthday Blunder

Today is my roommate Paul's birthday. I thought it would be a nice gesture to get him a Coldstone birthday cake.

I was dead wrong.

Let me give you a little backstory. My birthday was a little less than a week ago, and my roommates celebrated with a Coldstone birthday cake. I wanted to make this a simple tradition, one because birthdays with roommates are fun, and two because ice cream cake is mind-blowingly delicious. I ran out to get another cake, excited to share the experience with my friends. I get home and their first response is...

"You got the same cake as last time? Lame."

The cake I had on my birthday was so delicious, I thought everyone would enjoy it a second time. To my disappointment, my roommates did not feel the same way. They saw the cake and went back to their rooms to get away from me, leaving me to eat an entire birthday cake in one sitting. There's no room in our freezer so if I didn't eat it now it would melt. Do you know what it's like to eat an entire birthday cake? It's miserable.

3.) I own too many striped jackets

Although I didn't know this was possible, having multiple striped jackets is not cool. It began with Andrew making fun of me, which I didn't think was a big deal because he tends to make fun of me for just about everything. The jackets were just another item on his long list. However, this past weekend, a few more people found out I have two, count them, TWO jackets with lines in them. They laughed at me, cracked a few jokes, and then I went to my room to cry the rest of the night. Time to start looking for plaid. Or wool. Or burlap. Would people make fun of me if I wore a burlap sack? Probably not.

Kanye West and My Eating Habits

I logged on to Facebook 5 minutes ago to a swarm of posts about how much of a bitch Kanye West is. First of all, I thought it was common knowledge that Kanye is a tool. Isn't that why people like him? Second, did anyone not expect Kanye to do something like this? He pulls the controversial card in just about every public setting. He does it so much that the media writes articles about his incidents days in advance. I read this article about the 2009 VMA stunt three days ago (Don't mind the time stamp, the media updates it to make it look like they did not see it coming).

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I am horrible at eating food. I spend so much money on groceries and end up throwing half of it out because I don't look at most of it again until 2 months past expiration (Never, EVER eat Kraft Macaroni n Cheese 2 years after it expires. Trust me, I know from experience).

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These two topics are completely unrelated, right? Kind of, but there is a small connection. People forget about Kanye West just about as quickly as I forget about my groceries. Once forgotten, Kanye must do something crazy to bring him to the center of attention, leaving the taste of spoiled milk in my mouth. Not the few days past expiration kind of spoiled milk, but the left in the sun for 2 months, chunky, smelling of dead people, vomit in my mouth kind of milk. Also, the lid on the milk was left open while outside and a dog peed in it before I drank it. Yeah, that's the kind of taste Kanye leaves in my mouth. He probably also smells bad, like rotten swiss.

That's how Mr. West is related to my eating habits. Profound, I know.