I Love Fleas

"A shopping paradise awaits the entire family in the unbelievable Keller's Flea Market."

If you are ever in the Savannah area and doubt you are in the Dirty South, make your way over to Keller's Flea Market and be reassured. Probably the biggest garage sale in the country, Keller's Flea Market offers a variety of second-hand and custom made products from the local community. At first glance, it looks like a shady place you would not want to venture, but if you glance a second time, you'll find it to be heavenly. Don't glance again though or you may never leave!

Just a little heads up: If you are playing the license plate game where you try to find a license plate from every one of the 50 U.S. states, Keller's Flea Market is an excellent location to spot at least 37.46% of them.

During one of our last few days in Savannah, Bethany, Michelle, and I made a trip out to Keller's. Bethany was hesitant, but Michelle and I made sure it happened. Definitely a wise decision. 

Upon arrival, my heart was racing. I did not know what to expect. The first spot we walked past was a motobike/ four-wheeler shop. I was a little disappointed with this stop, but luckily we continued on. There were so many different places to go, we had a hard time deciding where to go first. Eventually, we made a decision and went into one of the barns/buildings/whatever you call them. 

The disappointing ATV shop. Don't worry, it only gets better. Not sure if you could tell by all the flags, but this is an American store.

I was taken aback. My eyes began to water with the incredible amount of low-quality merchandise in front of me. It was a dream come true. Everything from naked paintings of black couples to Jesus shirts, Jesus hats, Jesus shoes, Jesus pimp canes, and big buttered Jesuses could be found at this place. You could even buy 10 toothbrushes for $1! Out of this world!

The locals also make their own merchandise. One man had his own line of redneck products consisting of redneck windchimes (Beer cans tied to strings) and redneck ashtrays (A beer can on a piece of wood). I to this day do not know how I resisted purchasing a redneck windchime. It blows my mind.

Funnel cakes, guns, puppies, stolen merchandise, VHS tapes, and haircuts are some of the other wonderful products/services offered at Keller's. But what makes the experience one of a kind is the giant cow statue at the front of the store with a cowbell reading "I heart fleas." Best. Marketing. Strategy. Ever.

Guns

Go to Keller's. It's beautiful. Did I mention there is a petting zoo?

Here's the website for more info:

http://www.ilovefleas.com/

Snuggie Pub Crawl: An Experience Not Worth Missing.

In an effort to actually get any work done this week, I am going to write this post now since it will be on the forefront of my mind if I don't get it out of the way.

The Snuggie Bar Crawl, which I have been looking forward to since I was born, was last night. It was put on by a few members of the Dayton community, and anyone was allowed to attend, Snuggie or not. It was hands down one of the best experiences of my life, which is odd because if it wasn't for the fact that I was wearing a Snuggie, it probably would not have been all that exciting. Snuggies make all the difference when you want to have fun. The next time you are bored, put on a Snuggie and let the good times roll!

Jackie, Kelsie, and myself began the bar crawl at Blind Bob's. This was the second stop of the bar crawl. We were running a bit late. Once we finally arrived, we were a bit skeptical of the entire situation because we did not see a single soul in a Snuggie! Hidden in our car looking into the bar, we only saw normally clothed people. Our hearts were racing. Were we brave enough to walk through the bar in our Snuggies despite being the only three in them? Should we just count our losses and head back to campus? Being a once in a lifetime opportunity, we went for it. We made the right call.

Before even entering the bar, we had people coming up to us commenting on our Snuggies. We felt judged, but we didn't care. One feature about Snuggies that only Snuggie owners know about is the impenetrable forcefield to any judgement thrown in the Snuggie wearer's direction. We were unstoppable. After a few pictures outside Blind Bob's, we went in.

Upon entering, we thankfully found a small group of Snuggie Bar Crawl members to our left. There were about ten people in total around a few tables, two of which were wearing Snuggies. One member straggled behind at the first bar, which made a total of three Snuggie wearers before our arrival. Our group doubled the attendance of people actually wearing Snuggies. Despite such a low turnout, we were happy to see other people love their Snuggies as much as we do. As Jackie would say, Snuggies are "heaven on earth," and this proves it. All in all, the first bar was a success. Kelsie did a little networking and got a business card from the person who set up the bar crawl, Jackie met her future husband (an attractive and intelligent man from Minneapolis) and I am always happy when in a Snuggie.

A photographer from the Dayton Daily News followed us around the entire night as we modeled our Snuggies to the Dayton community. This guy made sure to take pictures of everything, including taking pictures of people taking pictures. I put the link to the photos at the bottom of the post, as you can see I'm in about 75% of the picutres. Needless to say, I'm famous.

The next stop on the list was The Trolley Stop. On our way there, people traversing the Oregon District stopped to check us out, snap a few pics, and compliment us on being so cool. Throughout the night, people supported our Snuggies by putting their sweaters or button up shirts on backwards. Although not quite a Snuggie, it was fun to see people supporting the bar crawl.

The mayor of Dayton made an appearance at The Trolley Stop to judge the Snuggie-off (my name for the best Snuggie competition). The mayor made all six of us Snuggiers get on stage and say a little about ourselves and our Snuggies. Trying to win over the crowd, I made sure to let them know I had an incredibly muscular bod under my Snuggie and did a little flexing for them (see picture below). Both Kelsie and Jackie tried to win by accessorizing with belts, and by having Snuggies with pockets, something of which I am still jealous about.

That's me flexing for the mayor and all those in attendance of the Snuggie-off. In the background is Kelsie with her belt and pocketed red Snuggie.

Sidenote: The mayor of Dayton said I had a muscular bod. I can cross that one off my bucket list.

Despite our best efforts, we lost...to a FUGGIE (fake Snuggie). The winner made his own "Snuggie" out of a fish pattern cloth. Lame that the Fuggie won, but I don't really think I wanted the grand prize anyway. The Fuggier received a one night stay at a bed in breakfast somewhere in the Oregon District. I can make my own breakfast thank you very much.

After the Snuggie-off, we taxied it back to campus and made it out to the Fieldhouse for a little bit. We were the hit of the bar for a brief stint, then left shortly thereafter. 

I cannot wait for next year's Snuggie Bar Crawl. I recommend you go out and purchase a Snuggie right now so you can attend.

Here is the link to the rest of the pictures of the first annual Dayton Snuggie Bar Crawl if you are interested:

http://projects.daytondailynews.com/cache/galleries/Entertainment/Events/041809snuggiepub/

The Devil Went Down to Georgia (Written in Georgia Font)

A lot of firsts have happened in my life recently. Many of them are tied to my multiple trips to the great state of Georgia (Go Bulldogs!). Coincidentally, going to Georgia was a recent first in and of itself. Here’s a brief list of my “first” accomplishments this past month. I am so proud of myself!

Went to The Dirty South (Atlanta and Savannah)

To start, I want to extend my deepest apologies to anyone I offend by calling it “The Dirty South.” Moving on…

There’s so much to be said about the South. So much that I have no idea where to start. Wait…yes I do.

Nothing beats an authentic southern accent. Hearing a southerner talk is like listening to a rock band made of ten glorious angels all singing harmoniously to the most beautiful song ever created. It may be a small understatement but I think you get the picture.

There’s also an array of fast-food restaurants only found in The South. Some chains may be found in The Clean North, but are so much better down below. Krystal, a White Castle look alike, took the cake out of all the establishments I ventured in to. The names of their products are impeccable, and the people you find in a Krystal are one in a million. During my trip, I had a Cheese-O-Nator combo, which consisted of FIVE small, greasy cheeseburgers, a side of chili-cheese fries, and a drink. I may have felt like throwing up afterwards, but the entire experience will be something I remember forever.

Moral of the story: I love The Dirty South!

Touched the Atlantic Ocean

Incredibly, I have never even been close to the Atlantic Ocean before this past week. The farthest out of Ohio I’ve ever traveled was Illinois, which is a small step in the wrong direction. Being a man who has not experienced much of planet Earth, putting my cute little toes in the enormous body of water was a HUGE milestone in my life.

Despite my fear of jellyfish and dying of dehydration from drinking too much saltwater, I managed to dunk my entire body in the Atlantic. Let’s just say the water was a little colder than what you would find in a hot tub, and by a little I mean about 60 degrees colder. Not to mention saltwater tastes exactly like it sound: salty. My only regret during the experience was not bringing unsalted french fries with me. The extra salt from the ocean would have been undeniably satisfying.

Played an on-screen board game

To clarify, by on-screen board game I mean one that is played on the television, such as Scene-It. In fact, the first game I played was “Scene-It: Squabble,” a men vs. women pop culture board game with movie and television trivia that one gender would find easy while the other would find more challenging. Needless to say, my extensive knowledge of chick flicks made this game a breeze. I took the Hey sisters down without much trouble.

My second experience (which occurred right after the first) was “Trivial Pursuit: Pop Culture.” The questions in this game were far more challenging and the Heys put up more of a fight. For anyone who has not played Trivial Pursuit, the point of the game is to collect 6 pieces of a pie and then make it back to the center on an exact role. Although that description will not help you understand the game at all, my point is I had a little trouble getting that exact role to make it to the center for the win. With an incredibly controversial move on Michelle’s part, she managed to squeak by with a win. Whether or not her actions should credit her with an actual win is still up in the air. Despite my loss, and Michelle’s cheating, I still managed to have fun with my first television board game.

Ate at a Sonic

Sonics are amazing. Their menu is huge and many of their items are unique. If I had the choice, I would have ordered one of everything. Unfortunately I did not have the cash or four stomachs to live out my dream. I had a number five (I could not tell you what I actually ordered because my memory is such a blur with all the amazingness that was going on) with TATER TOTS! What other fast food establishment offers tater tots with their combos!? Unbelievable. Hands down the best restaurant in North America.

I also had an ice cream cone. That was good too.

Honorable Mention

Like I said, the past month was chock-full of firsts for me. So many in fact, it would take me 10.5 billion years to write a brief description for each of them. It would also take me roughly 30 minutes to just list all of them. In an effort to save myself a little time, here are a few firsts that I was too lazy to write about. I may or may not write about some in a later post. Like my experience riding mopeds. That was fun.

·         Slept in my Snuggie.

·         Slept in the back of a Honda Civic.

·         Went to an amusement park outside the state of Ohio.

·         Ate lamb.

·         Ate Yorkshire pudding

·         Ate at a Chick-Fil-A

·         Went somewhere other than home for an entire school break.

·         Sat in a hot tub with only myself and four other women (Ow Ow!).

·         Left at 1 am to go on an 8 hour road trip.

·         Purchased a season pass to an amusement park I will never go to again.

·         Purchased an article of clothing from J. Crew and Banana Republic.

·         Rode mopeds.

·         Took a road trip greater than 6 hours.

·         Lost in a Sudoku contest.

·         Won in a Sudoku contest.

·         Went to a Flea Market (I am definitely going to talk about this one in a later post).

·         Went to a redneck bar and played pong in said bar.