Installment Two of Infomercial Goodness

My infomercial blog post comes in three easy installments. One entry just is not enough considering how valuable the SpicyBlog is. So...let's continue with the second payment of my three blog entry payment plan.

3. Versus Bare Floor Cleaner

Nothing beats a good vacuum cleaner infomercial. Seriously, any vacuum on television can suck up any mess imaginable. I think some nowadays even shine your shoes in the process. With the amount of vacuums on the market today, what separates Versus from the competition? Not much really, except that it doesn't work well on carpet. One advantage is its V-shaped bottom to get in those hard to reach corners. It is also lightweight so it won't hurt your back like those bulky ordinary vacuums. The fact that it is only for hard floors kind of makes this vacuum a glorified broom. I'm sold.

Don't be fooled by it's looks. It is just a broom that sucks (literally).

Price: $79.99 (most expensive broom you can buy)
Special offer(s): Clean kitchen floors for life.
Website: http://www.bissell.com/Products/p/versus+corded+76t8/product.aspx

2. Ronco Rocker Six Star Plus with new Ronco Rocker Cutlery Set

This infomercial tended to scare me. If these knives got into the wrong hands, all Hell would break loose! This set includes knives for paring, boning, carving, filleting, chopping, slicing, dicing, mincing, and more. They are also useful for slicing off someone's limbs, cutting out a person's kidneys, or hacksawing a metal pipe. The knives' best feature: being able to cut through anything you can imagine and never getting dull! That's right, anything: diamonds, steel, small Jack Russell terriers, your thumb while chopping onions. A good investment for chefs, surgeons, and construction workers alike. If I met someone with this knife set, I would be suspicious of their motives and run away. Better to avoid a possible serial killer than to get stabbed with a sharp knife. I'll stick with my dull knives thank you very much!

If they never go dull, why do they give you so many?

Price: $39.95
Special Offer(s): Wooden block knife holder
Website: http://www.asseenontv.com/prod-pages/st6st20402.html

1. Magic Bullet

The Magic Bullet is the cutest little blender on the market. With two different types of blades that move at the speed of light, it can chop, mince, or blend just about anything in 2 seconds. It even comes with little lid things so you can drink whatever you make straight from the blender cup. No one wants to deal with the hassle of transferring their smoothie from the blender to a cup, which is why the Magic Bullet is so...magical! My brother bought this for my mom on her birthday last year, and I must say, I actually do like this crazy little blender. Another important factor is its safety feature. It's practically impossible to turn the MB on when the blades are uncovered. Trust me, I tried. Downside: There's only so much you can fit in one cup, so it is only a good kitchen utensil for sad, lonely people with no friends.

The result of a turtle going through the Magic Bullet

Price: 3 easy payments of $33.33
Special offer(s): Two Magic Bullets for the price of 1
Website: http://www.buythebullet.com/